Discussions

I would like to compliment Dr. Symonds for his paper which deals with so complex and intricate a subject as marital disharmony. This subject is particularily difficult because one must have a fundamental understanding of what is normal, what is neurotic, and what is healthy, and since no human can fit into any of these categories in absolute terms, we must evaluate the quantitative aspects—all of this without precise measuring instruments. And to further complicate this, we must take into account cultural factors in order to determine if marriage in our society is harmonious, or conflicts with the nature of man. There are cultures where marriage, as we know it, is not known, where monogamy does not exist, and the word love is either a euphemism for sexual desire or is not known at all.

Dr. Symonds has offered a masterful delineation of the character structure and the types of people who will predictably have a bad marriage. He has not used the usual worn-out cliches in order to make his observations fit a preconceived theory.

The discrepancy, or contradiction, between conscious and unconscious forces is quite important as an indicator for a poor relationship. There is little doubt that if the person is healthy, there will be less alienation and distortion, and the contradiction between the conscious and the unconscious will be minimized and not be a major factor in relationships.

Dr. Symonds’ finding that “the vast majority of marital counselling is initiated by women,” coincides with my own observations. Some of these are initiated by dependent women. One