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We have much to learn from schizophrenics and their families—even more from them than about them—and, in so doing, about all of us. These families, as I see them, starkly reveal pitfalls in dealing with a pervasive human problem—how to establish and maintain meaningful relatedness with one's fellows. The typical ways in which these families try to solve this problem are shared with many who are never officially designated as schizophrenic; and many others spend their lives in busy preoccupation with this same issue, or in careful avoidance and denial of its meaning.
My approach to this complex subject can be introduced by noting a striking contrast between two views of interpersonal relationships—between relatedness experienced primarily as a goal in its own right, and relatedness experienced more as a means for the fulfillment of some other task or objective.
In the first view of relatedness, which I shall call expressive, meaningful feelings, including experiences of warmth, affection, and in the broadest sense, human contact, are sought directly and immediately, without preliminaries, often in a rush of what is called “spontaneity.” The content and the external task, if any, in the interaction are given secondary importance. Perhaps the fantasy about, and sometimes the experience in, the relatedness of mother and infant is both an example and a source of this form of relatedness. Romantic love is ordinarily regarded as taking this mode. And, in encounter and sensitivity training groups, directness in the immediate relation of the here-and-now is usually regarded as a primary, and ultimate, goal.
In the second, instrumental view of relatedness, greater value is given by the interacting persons to tasks and foci of attention external to themselves. The interpersonal relation is sometimes experienced as necessary or useful in pursuit or execution of a task, but is not valued in itself apart from its instrumental utility. The relationship of salesman and customer, of do