Psychodynamics of Aggression in Women*

Aggression has become an “umbrella” word which covers and often obscures one of the traits most necessary for human survival and growth. It is often used to describe socially unacceptable behavior. Myths have arisen that aggression is a sex-linked trait usually associated with masculinity and that the essence of femininity is passivity. Due to the women's liberation movement, this concept of sex-linked aggression and passivity is being actively challenged.

The following incident may very well be a by-product of this challenge. A woman told me of her experience with an encounter group. She was told with the others to line up in order of aggressivity. The most aggressive was to be first on line and the most passive at the end. She said to me in utter seriousness: “You know, I had to fight for last place.” Today what is generally accepted by the scientific community is that the capacity for aggression is an innate human trait. However, specific patterns of aggression are learned, imprinted, and culturally determined.’

In this paper I will explore the various patterns of aggressive behavior that women often express. These patterns are not sex determined but are a result of the dependent solution to conflict that they were forced to adopt. As Dr. Alexandra Symonds states: “Women as a group have been pressed and encouraged to express only their dependency needs and have been actively discouraged or barred from fulfilling their needs for detachment or expansiveness. As a result the dependent personality is called feminine as though it was biologically determined.1,2

When I reviewed my clinical practice, I was impressed with the observation of how frequently the phrases “hurt feelings” and “afraid to hurt their feelings” and even the word “hurt” were used by women and how rarely I heard these same phrases from men. This observation seemed more striking when these phrases seemed to be used as equivalents of anger, resentment, or even rage. As most psychoanalysts do, I reflected