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People in psychological distress are often the first to jump on the bandwagon of any societally sanctioned trend, and presently divorce is becoming an increasingly permissable, valued, and readily available action. Yet the myth of “romantic divorce” Hetherington5 speaks of ignores the enormous stresses which marital breakup often brings.
We who are concerned with psychological issues are in the process of defining the spectrum of psychological needs and problems which confront the divorcing population of both adults and children. We no longer are only focusing on preventing divorce, but now also on promoting successful resolution of divorce. We have much catching up to do to respond to the needs of this newly burgeoning population. Until recently, the only help available to them has been through self-help groups.
We know that, contrary to popular mythology, divorce is, for most, a hazardous psychological journey, and this population is a population at risk. I have been studying the impact of divorce on children and adults in order to understand what can go wrong and what can go right during the divorce process.
The psychological needs of children are too often ignored during and after the stress of divorce, and there can be confusion between marital roles and parental roles, with children bearing the burden of the conflicts of their parents.
The chances that each party will be motivated to create a postdivorce home for the child are better when the natural parents are able to go through the divorce process in a constructive way that fosters an amicable relationship and a desire to work with each other rather than against each other, with resulting benefits not only to the parents themselves but to the child as well.3
What is “successful divorce”? Successful divorce is, I think, the emotional acceptance of the permanent separation, the giving up of emotional