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Do you feel safe when you control your Immediate environment? Do you only involve yourself in situations in which you can excel? Do you then tell yourself you are a lion?
Do you remove yourself emotionally from those around you to feel safe, or do you expect little from life? Meet yourself. You are an eagle.
Is your entire adult personality based on love, need for approval, willingness to comply, and the rejection of your aggressive and hostile feelings? See yourself as you really are: a kitten.
These are the three basic trends that Langer describes so that the reader can obtain an understanding of how and where he fits in. Patterns of behavior are explained very clearly so that the reader may understand the consequences of compulsive living, which is contrasted to healthy living, when the individual can Incorporate all the trends to achieve wholeness.
This is an easy-to-read book written expressly for the general public, for people who want to become more aware of themselves and resolve some of their emotional problems. Although Horney is never mentioned, Langer utilizes Horney theory as the general framework of the book, as well as his many years of experience.
The artificial self resulting from childhood insecurities and the consequent dangers of self-hate are described in clear, simple terms that are understandable to people who do not have a sophisticated knowledge of human behavior. Self-exploration is emphasized, and many of the usual deterrents or resistances to self-awareness and change are examined and explained so that the reader will recognize them and be able to overcome them,
The subject of living safely is the dominant theme. The many and varied ways in which people delude themselves trying to achieve safety are discussed. Some of these include the avoidance of responsibility, the accumulation of material things, and focusing on externals. Intrapsychically, safety is defined, with all its consequences and attendant limitations. Langer gives detailed account