Children and Parents in the Divorce Court

More than one-third of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Children involved are subject to great stress. Child psychiatrists and other therapists meet a large number of these children, who often have long lasting emotional difficulties. Current psychiatric literature describes many such cases (1-6), but gives little information about the court process and the court experience of the family. After summarizing some of the recent literature on divorce, we shall discuss these topics.

Divorce is a process which begins long before the marriage with each partner's childhood experience of his parents' relationship. Each partner brings realistic and neurotic expectations into the marriage; each has functional and dysfunctional ways of resolving conflict which may clash with the partner's, or may allow for compromise and growth. For the couple, pregnancy and birth of a child often intensify unresolved conflict, so that many children are exposed from early childhood to inconsistencies and strife. When the parents actually separate, the children often experience a double parent loss: the loss of the parent who leaves (“leaving him” as the child experiences it), and the “loss” of the remaining parent, who may not be emotionally available to the child because of grief and anger. Additionally, many children believe they are to blame for the separation and are unable to handle the guilty feelings. The divorce proceedings, especially the court appearances, often add to the trauma. Mutual recriminations, sometimes increased by overzealous lawyers, do not serve the best interest of the child. What happens later to such children? Here is an example:

June's parents were divorced when she was 4. They continued to fight and at 16, when she first saw E.L., she was caught up in a vicious custody battle. June became aggressive and in spite of high intelligence, failed in school. When she finally graduated from college at 24, she still clung to her mother. Afraid to look

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