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The transition from states of apparent dependence to apparent independence and autonomy is generally a difficult one for patients and therapists alike. The progression toward individuation is presented by most psychoanalytic theorists as a crossculturally normal developmental expectation. Although alternative theoretical understandings have been offered by theorists outside the classical arena, the mainstream holds fast to a belief in the universality of this developmental principle.
In traditional theory, symbiotic relatedness and dependency are construed as a defensive need for a constant companion, protector, and caretaker in response to fears of aggression (Kernberg, 1975). The authors of this paper offer a contrasting position to the conventional position, conceptualizing symbiosis as a defense against vulnerability. It is posited that the symbiotic need for another may not be, at its root, an outgrowth of separation anxiety and dependency strivings as they are conceived conventionally, but may represent a desperate quest for the mending of narcissistic injury through recognition.
In this scenario, the clingingness that communicates “don't leave me” is derivative of a more unconscious plea, “see me,” which serves as a defense against the terror of anticipated indifference from the other. This unconscious message captures metaphorically the urgent need for a mirror in which to be seen and a search for recognition—literally, “re-cognized,” that is, thought about anew and differently.
Current explanations about symbiosis stemming from drive theory or Mahler's developmental perspective (Mahler and Furer, 1968; Mahler, Pine, and Bergman, 1975) do not address the narcissistic underpinnings of the symbiotic position. Although the dynamic interchange between maternal narcissism and infant personality development has been explored by neo-Freudians and self-psychologists (Horney, 1937, 1967; Kohut, 1971, 1977), a link to symbiotic relatedness has yet to be pursued. The inno