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To study Buddhism is to study the self.To study the self is to forget the self.To forget the self is to be at one with the ten thousand phenomena.To be at one with the ten thousand phenomena is to free one's body and mind and those of others.Shobogenzo Genjokoan, Zen Master Eihei Dogen
Steve, a gay generation Xer in his late twenties, comes to see me troubled by years of suicidal depression. Despite his talents, he doubts his place in the world and cynically assumes he will “get through” his life by presenting a “nice” front. He longs for a loving relationship with another man, yet is terrified that if people get to know his “real” self they will discover he is a monster—flawed and inadequate. To avoid being rejected, he acts in such a way that others are either entertained or confused. Having been sexually molested by a psychologist, a friend of the family, for years as a young boy, he is particularly mistrustful of those showing interest or kindness toward him.
Being both a Zen Buddhist meditation instructor and a psychoanalyst, I have speculated as to how I would work with this young man in light of these two traditions. Although a number of other authors have written about this topic (Engler, 1981; Epstein, 1995; ; Rubin, 1996; Suler, 1995), I find it rewarding to continue to explore the interface of these traditions in my clinical work. From the perspective of the Zen traditions I have studied (Beck, 1989, 1993; Maezumi and Glassman, 1976, 1977, 1978), Steve would be instructed to develop his capacities for focusing and awareness through meditation, in order to increasingly tolerate the presence of depressive thoughts and moods without being overwhelmed or