In These Pages…

Alexandra Symonds was a leader of her generation, a role model for her peers and an inspiration for many generations to come. On a beautiful fall morning in 1999, her husband of forty-four years, Dr. Martin Symonds, agreed to chat with me about Allie. During her life, those of us who saw Allie in action were always aware of Marty—his presence ever supportive, never imposing. Dr. Leah Dickstein, one of the contributors to this issue, has called Marty a man of “good conscience.” Dr. Dickstein, one of Allie's “professional daughters,” sustains that women's plight for appropriate recognition and respect needs men of good conscience. After having enjoyed a very special hour-and-a-half with Marty, I felt reassured that people of good conscience when they share their human experience, when they live “in connection” following the concept elaborated by another of our contributors Dr. Jean Baker Miller of the Stone Center, foster mutual growth that transcends their relationship and benefits us all.

Marty spoke of how Allie, upon meeting him, saw his potential and motivated him to achieve it. He spoke of their mutual respect, lack of competition with each other, interest in each other's achievement and lack of threat about each other's successes. He spoke of both being self-sufficient: “She never had to cook for me, or do my laundry.” In their marriage, he continued, neither had to adhere to the traditional roles. He spoke of “wanting to be with her,” remembering her dynamism, her enthusiasm and her ability to motivate those around her while respecting their individuality. He spoke of her determination, which many times made him fear for her. He would express to her his concern—motivated by a desire to protect her from the pain she might face in her plight—but he never felt his role was to stop her. Candidly, he added, “not that I could have done it anyway.” His respect for her was his guiding force. His admiration for his wife translated as heartfelt pride over their ability t