The Optimum Midrange: Infant Research, Literature, and Romantic Attachment

We work in this paper with the hypothesis that there is a continuum of self- and interactive regulation. We use a model of communication that takes into account both how the person is affected by his own behaviour (self-regulation) and by that of the partner (interactive regulation). In this model, optimal social development and communication proceed with flexibility and balance between self- and interactive regulation. An excessive monitoring of the partner, at the expense of self-regulation, defines one pole of imbalance; preoccupation with self-regulation, at the expense of interactive sensitivity, defines the other pole of imbalance. This model fits work on mother-infant communication in the earliest months of life, on adult communication, and on attachment research in infancy and in adult romantic love models. We look to a number of poets for confirmation, for their place on our continuum of self- and interactive regulation, and for ways in which their love myths or visions anticipate those of our contemporaries. We conclude with a case vignette illustrating this model in psychoanalytic treatment.