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This book came my way while I was searching for more literature on the subject of yearning, longing, and desire. It is an informative book, which contains rich case material, as well as an in depth understanding of desire. It is the product of the presentations made by a wonderful group of speakers at the William Alanson White Institute conference; entitled “Longing: psychoanalytic musings on desire,” held in New York City in October 2004.
This is a subject that is not often talked about, taught in psychotherapy trainings, or explored in the psychotherapy world. Longing and desire, where our passionate, yet despairing emotional life, drive, and yearnings lie as well as hatred, aggression, sex, and love hardly find life in the consulting room; yet they hold such relevant and powerful feelings. It is a subject often very little thought about and often avoided by the therapist in the therapeutic setting. I feel that this avoidance is because of fear, as it involves a private “unknown experience” for the therapist and the patient. It involves the therapist in a surrender alongside the patient and going down together to the messy bits of the relational chasm.
This is an excellent collection of articles edited by Jean Petrucelli, whose aim is to facilitate women and men's understanding of desire. The book is neatly divided into five parts, starting with a very touching preface by Susie Orbach entitled: “On daring to long”. She says eloquently: “Longing was a thwarting, an admonishment, and a cruel tease: the recompense for surrender and feeling, for daring to love and to care” (p. xvii).
There are eighteen contributors with a wealth of experience, who have invested time to understand the complexity of sexuality and desire.
In Part One, the first four contributors talk about “Selves, untold or lost in translation”. A wonderful title to describe our “not me” self states.
Judith Brisman, in Chapter One, talks about the importance of the therapist's role as experiencing and witnes