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Forgiveness is an emotive and difficult, even taboo, subject particularly for those who have been subject to crimes and abuse for which there can be no forgiveness, or for those who work with people who have endured these experiences. Mention of the word “forgiveness” might provoke feelings of anger, as if the implication is that psychological health would mean a denial or avoidance of anger, hurt, abuse, and the impact of the trauma inflicted. There are many issues concerning whether forgiveness is in itself a useful concept, or whether what some people conceptualise as forgiveness might more appropriately be considered to be acceptance and repair. Similarly, the issue of whether forgiveness of a perpetrator who shows no remorse, understanding, or acknowledgement of the harm they have caused is possible or even appropriate is a similarly thorny issue. There are also the connotations of religious ideas about “turning the other cheek”. Siassi boldly wrestles with these complex issues commendably—but as with many good explorations, may leave the reader with more questions than answers.
Those who work with trauma understandably need to be highly attuned to any behaviour that would deny the reality of those who have been traumatised and the potential to reach too soon for an apparent resolution of the pain inflicted with an “I forgive them”. However, perhaps an avoidance of this subject has been evident in the gap in the literature as noted by the reviewers' comments on the back cover from authors such as Gabbard, and may be reflective of a collective writers' block that emerges from precisely these complexities. In this context, Siassi's book could be argued to be commendable, courageous even.
It is possible for all of us to imagine the impact of hurt that could be inflicted in intimate relationships, either accidentally, or because of a person's fallibility, or any other number of circumstances, that make the other vulnerable and human. Hurt due to tragic accidents, or