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This book is the result of the author, Anne Power, a couple's therapist, interviewing eighteen “contented couples” to understand what makes a relationship work.
She explains her snowball method for finding and screening the couples, who self-identified as middle and upper-middle class, were mostly of professional backgrounds (several being in the mental health field themselves), and were English speakers from the United Kingdom and the United States. Her intention was to include couples with a range of methods of meeting—from what she termed “random romance”, which is commonly exalted by both Western and non-Western cultures and is different from guided romance which she found in the “self-arranged” and “arranged” pairs. “Self-arranged” was predominantly through online methods or other areas where the individuals’ intention for partnership was clear, and “arranged” was a purposeful meeting through family and friends as has been traditional and is still very prevalent in non-Western cultures today. This variation in methods has enabled diversity in cultural and religious backgrounds; there are two identifiably queer relationships included. Their ages range from late twenties to late seventies, with the “youngest” relationship being seven years long and the oldest, fifty. In terms of limitations, her sample appeared to be of monogamous couples of acknowledged plentiful social and financial resources and there were no racially blended families.
Power uses an attachment lens in the narratives of her subjects and draws on Johnson's emotion-focused therapy principles. She seeks to have the couples narrate their experience and what has worked for them through plenty of direct quotes with fewer interpretations. The writing is easy to read; any technical phrase is explained so readers outside the field should find it accessible.
She begins with an introduction of the couples and a proposal of the tenets of a successful relationship, namely, the emotional health and capacity for