With Reality Close By

It may happen, at the end of a session, that I open the window and look out at the trees on the square below, and while I gaze about me I occasionally catch sight of the patient that I just encountered during the session dashing off to work, to pick up the children, to the university… at those times I feel a sense of respectful tenderness, when, despite all the problems, the pain and difficulties, I see the analysands heading towards things and commitments which involve them and which they feel to be part of their lives. Then I wonder how, on the other hand, other patients that I see in analysis seem to drag themselves out of the session to head towards activities and commitments which they are estranged from, which do not seem to be connected with their own intimate motivations or desire.

The thesis which I intend to develop in these pages is that the individual is not able to hook onto reality and learn from his/her experiences of it if he/she is not able to bear the impersonality of Destiny, as Freud defined it. I will associate this notion to Bion's «O» to describe some aspects of mental functioning which transform the impersonal «urge to exist» into a nucleus of personal motivations to live one's own life, to become distinct, to create impassioned bonds and to tolerate death.

This paper sets out from a specific vertex and from psychoanalytic language chosen from among the many possible. Lacan, Matte Blanco, Bollas and, naturally, Winnicott, to name just a few, have addressed the feeling of existing with estimable theoretic coherence. The models allow us to converse with analysands on the subject of primary emotional states as well as non-articulated somatic and psychic issues, including lack of continuity between the somatic and the psychic (). Each of us chooses the theoretic language which he/she feels best satisfies this need. In order to develop the topics addressed in this paper I will use the Authors whose language has been a source of inspiration and suppo