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Virginity, its significance, and the significance of its loss have received relatively scant discussion in psychoanalytic literature. This fact is surprising. It is important to note and examine it, given the value attached to virginity by most societies and considering the psychic consequences that follow the internalization of stereotypic attitudes by both females and males.
Holtzman and Kulish consider defloration and the state of not being a virgin in detail, from a historical and contemporary perspective as well as from a general psychoanalytic point of view, and especially its role in the specific subjective experience of the individual. The authors' findings indicate that for girls and women the loss of virginity constitutes an epic experience. It is a unique and “once in a lifetime” change that marks an ending as well as a passage to a new phase of womanhood and adult sexuality. The ending of virginity has emotional reverberations, specific for each individual. It bears a profound psychic significance that may be acknowledged, denied, or even repressed. Nonetheless, as Holtzman and Kulish so explicitly note, the fact remains: once virginity is lost, it is Nevermore.
Many questions can be raised about the meanings of virginity. The authors with great skill pursue their investigation of this topic into areas of etymology, folklore, myth, fairy tale, anthropology, biography, literature, metaphor, and symbolism. The concept of “never” echoes in each of these areas, confirming Holtzman and Kulish's hypothesis of the finality associated with defloration. It is “like birth and death, a one-time occurrence that cannot be repeated” (p. 3).
The authors raise the questions: what constitutes virginity? Is it a purely anatomic condition? Does it imply no sexual experience? How is masturbation related to ideas about the hymen? Does fantasy with sexual themes impinge on feelings about virginity?