This paper proposes an attachment theory formulation of violent acts perpetrated by men against women, usually in the context of sexual relationships. It is proposed that relationship violence may be seen as an exaggerated response of a disorganized attachment system. It is related to a disorganized attachment pattern in infancy coupled with a history of abuse and an absent male parental figure. The author proposes a theory based on a psychoanalytic understanding of the development of the self, and highlights similarities between the clinical presentation of male perpetrators and those with borderline personality disorder.