This paper was originally written as a graduation paper for the completion of adult analytic training. In this paper I trace and explore multiple uses of creative writing in my personal analysis, illuminating the development of analytic phases and process. The creative writing used in this paper is primarily from the first three and a half years of my analysis, well before entering analytic training. It is an eventual interpretation on the part of my analyst, as well as the rest of my analysis and analytic training, that allow me to realize that while my writing felt like self-discovery, it also served as resistance, defense against the entirety of my affective world and internal conflicts. A poem written much later in the analysis is included, as it reveals the integration of struggled with concepts, as well as the pain of the inevitable separation of termination.