On Inconsolability

The question of inconsolability cannot be separated in any meaningful way from that of consolability. Life presents us with a series of unpleasurable situations that elicit the need for comfort and consolation. Such states accrue as a consequence of pain, loss, frustration, loneliness, rejection and many other everyday experiences. States of this kind invariably involve blows to the individual's self-esteem together with some degree of anxiety and depressive affect. Each person appears to possess his or her own individual manner of obtaining comfort and consolation. Yet the precise mechanisms of the process of consolation are difficult to determine and outline. It would seem that there is much variation between individuals and within individuals. On different occasions, a given person will be consolable via external or internal means or, more likely, a combination thereof. Furthermore, in different circumstances that same person will become ‘inconsolable’.

The author describes certain regularly appearing features which seem to characterize individuals ‘not admitting of consolation or solace’. The inconsolable person may be capable of hiding or disguising his or her moods to the point that no one is aware that something is very much amiss. On the other hand, the inconsolability may manifest an intrusive, invasive element, endowing the mood with a contagious quality which impinges upon others in the immediate environment. Inconsolable individuals invariably demonstrate a variety of depressive affects; they tend to be withdrawn, ruminative, preoccupied with their unhappiness. Various manifestations of aggression are frequently found. These individuals are often irritable, especially if others, however kindly and discreetly, attempt to interfere with their privacy and their brooding. Attempts