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The separation-individuation process is one way of looking at the goals of infancy; establishing concordant senses of self is another. The proponents of these two approaches, Mahler and Stern, begin with quite different hypotheses about the subjective life of the infant, yet their different focal points and emphases can enrich our understanding of what is happening in the mother-baby dyad. Stern suggests that isolated experiences may be felt with an ‘exquisite clarity and vividness’ even within the first few weeks, and that the process of organizing these experiences may be a little more independent of the undifferentiated bond with mother than is suggested by Mahler.
The mother and baby in this report appear to have started badly since the early symbiotic tie provoked anxiety in this needy and isolated mother. However, by the third month the mother, whom I shall refer to as Miss B, found a satisfying way of relating to Shanti, her baby daughter, and Shanti (being an infant with good frustration-tolerance) responded eagerly.
In the first three months much of the ‘holding’ appears to have been done by the father, Mr R. One way of discovering quite how early experiences are organized and integrated is through inference drawn from later behaviour, and Shanti's behaviour, from the moment she could crawl, suggests a clear appreciation of which parent satisfied which needs. Father provided cuddles and physical stimulation whilst mother provided food and a sense of continuity. Her presence was, and is, undoubtedly important, but contact was quite subtly maintained. Shanti does not appear to mind this splitting of functions, but one is led to speculate about the way in which her sense of self and objects may be represented.
My observations are divided into three phases, beginning with the first three months during which time Miss B struggled to find her feet. The second phase runs from the fourth month until the end of the first year, when the blossoming relationship between M