Hand to Hand Combat: An Analysis of Childhood Sadism

Mindy was seven and a half, midway through the second grade, when her parents first came to see me. They said she was extremely miserable, hating herself, her school, her teacher and her only sibling, a four-year-old brother. Her learning was seriously compromised, and her peer relationships were minimal. She used a private language at home, with expressions that showed that she was angry and wished to be close. She did not show anger directly towards her mother, but instead pestered her with questions about her mother's love of her and assertions that she loved her mother. Mother was shocked when I pointed out that one of Mindy's names for her, Froggy Doo Brain, meant frog shit-head. Mindy was afraid to be alone in her room and became very anxious if the parents argued. The parents experienced her as extremely controlling, powerful and exasperating. They frequently found her hiding in different parts of the house, eavesdropping on their conversations. She had several times abruptly pulled down father's pyjama bottoms and had also mounted a severe enforcement campaign to get him to stop smoking. She also often left the toilet without flushing it.

Approximately two months before I first saw her, she had pleaded with her parents not to be sent out with her brother on Halloween. They insisted the children go together and Mindy then pushed the boy down some stairs. He was not injured, but subsequently Mindy began wetting herself as much as five times a day, sweated constantly, was unable to fall asleep, and developed canker sores all over her mouth. She complained of feeling as if needles were pricking her.

At the time of referral, Mindy's mother was devoted in her mothering, but very tense, very guilty, and terribly afraid of her own anger. Thus she was timid, passive, over-giving, fearful of causing hurt, and had serious trouble over setting limits and with separation. During Mindy's analysis, mother had her own individual psychotherapy and improved markedly in all thes