In Part 1 an analysis is made of the neglect of the father in depth psychology. This is followed by an attempt to find meaning and purpose in incestuous fantasy and behaviour. The role of the father in the formation of gender identity in his sons and daughters is discussed. In Part 2 it is proposed that clinicians begin to think of an optimally erotic relation between father and daughter, and of the father as transforming the aggression of the son. A further new concept is introduced, that of unconscious ‘gender certainty’. The paper includes some reflections on the general cultural aspects of the ideas raised in it.