The third position refers to a type of relationship where one is an observer of a relationship rather than a participant. It is the attainment of this position that enables a grandmother to accept her child's partner and the birth of their baby. The type of anxiety aroused in grandmother by the birth will depend on the extent to which she has been able to resolve her oedipal anxieties. My own experience of becoming a grandmother and my work with a patient who became a grandmother during therapy contributed to my understanding of the significance of this life event.