A Parallel Development

From the first, I was struck by the contradictory feelings engendered in me by Michael. There seemed to be two main pairs of contrasts: one between his utterly affectless, non-communicative tone of voice and the seething content of his words; and another between his apparent attitude of hostile indifference to me (which was soon reciprocated) and my paradoxical realisation that there was yet something I found very likeable about him. He was a tall, handsome man of about 40 who, despite his apparently relaxed demeanour and dress, struck me as forged out of steel. It clearly irked him to find himself in counselling at all, but he had referred himself because of a depressed feeling that there was no point in living, no reason to get out of bed in the morning to face yet another boring day. He was clearly bored and irritated at having to tell his story yet again, which he proceeded to do although I had not asked him to. He told me of how he was the eldest of five children, born in Taiwan to an English mother and a half-German, half-Czech father of German nationality. The next child had arrived when he was two, and at three his parents decided to leave for Brazil. His father went there immediately and his mother took her, by then, three children to England where she parked them off in some kind of hostel - Michael was not clear about the details, but he is sure it was not a relative's home - whilst she went to join her husband. The children were flown over to join their parents about six months later. Michael's memories of this period consisted not of any sad or angry feelings but of being ‘the big brother’, looking after his two younger sisters. After about three years in Brazil the family moved to Germany. Michael emphasised in passing that he had had a very happy relationship with both his parents throughout his childhood; he portrayed the mutual feelings between him and his mother as rosy, and as he informed me of his father's international athletic status I sensed t