It is observed that certain male patients, in psychotherapy with female therapists, end prematurely. Attention to common factors in the cases of the ‘men who leave too soon’ reveals a pattern. Some leave to avoid intimacy, others to avoid consciousness of erotic/aggressive impulses where the feminine may be alternately idealized and denigrated in the transference. Unconscious collusion in traditional gender dynamics may contribute to avoidance of consciousness of sexual feelings in the countertransference. This may sometimes result in interpretation of eros in infantile terms in denial of the adult, sexual dynamic. Vignettes from clinical practice illustrate the theoretical discussion.