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Each of these two games consists of a board on which is depicted a ‘journey’ connected respectively with bereavement or with divorce or separation. Counters are moved according to throws of the dice and certain squares contain instructions which directly or indirectly lead the child to a question relevant to the subject of the game.
The clinic to which the games were offered has, like similar clinics, been under heavy pressure from rising referrals, and the majority of the 800+ families referred last year had experienced divorce, separation or bereavement. It was therefore a puzzle to find that so few staff wanted to use the game. Two main reasons were given for this lack of uptake. In the first place, children are not referred on account of these experiences, but because the referrer cannot understand the connection between the known experience and the behaviour or the emotion of the child. Usually something else is also occurring, such as sexual abuse or parental inadequacy. The staff member needs a sophisticated understanding of all the relevant factors and sometimes felt that it was an artificial simplification to deal solely with a known fact. In addition, some people felt that the use of something called a ‘game’ trivialized misery. A game has other inherent connotations, all of which appeared when various children played the games.
A game is played with other people. When the games were used with individual children a staff member also had to play and to answer the questions in the light of experience. One staff member used her own bereavement and was disconcerted to find herself becoming unduly angry at one of the questions. This helped her to understand the child better and also to understand herself, but highlights the need for supervision, or at least debriefing for staff. The child in question benefited, saying, ‘I never knew other people felt that way too.’ A game is often relaxing. There was one boy whose parents had separated some years ago and the game