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This anthology has been written cooperatively by abuse survivors - men and women, able-bodied and physically disabled, of different religious, racial and social class backgrounds. It is written in prose, free verse, rhyming verse, poetry, diary, art and words. It tells of abuse from within the family (siblings, parents and grandparents) and from trusted authority figures (teachers, scoutmasters.) It tells of abuse in private in the home, of group abuse, of satanic abuse. It recounts narratives of pain that left the writers suicidal, stupefied, depressed, self-injuring, at the mercy of substance abuse or abusive relationships. It left some to the mercy of poor health service treatment, whether inpatient psychiatry or therapy, whilst others thankfully received life-saving treatment (Childline, individual or group therapy, counselling). It is a searing and powerful testimony of loss, hurt, betrayal and resilience.
The sections into which the book is divided provide a guide to the main themes: The Blades of My Life (living with pain), The Survivor's Song (belonging and relationships), Claiming the Right to Feel Pain, Pulling Things from a Dark Cupboard (remembering), Can You Hear Me? (silences), Turned on a Tide (transition), Learning to Dance (beginning to feel), Eating the Coal (oppressions), You Want a Witness? (the role society and institutions play) and, finally, Us (personal statements).
One contributor, Gill de la Cour, a professional counsellor working with clients who have experienced abuse and also a survivor, lucidly points to the fake splits between ‘experts’ and ‘survivors’, the prejudiced implication being that experts are not survivors. Splitting is an inevitable consequence of abuse for the child, the adult, the wider society and also perhaps the readers of this book. I initially began to read this book split between myself as a poet, a poetry teacher for those who use writing as healing, for those who aim to be professional poets (Art) and as a therapist