In this paper I investigate some of the problems faced by the couple and the clinician when the presenting problem is that the couple does not have sex. This symptom normally expresses multiple meanings. I restrict myself to exploring the defences against the pain that ensues from unconsciously facing the primal scene aspect of the Oedipus situation, and how the prospect of dismantling these defences feels catastrophic to certain couples. I investigate theoretically and clinically how these difficulties can lead to the symptom of no sex, and how such understanding can sometimes help couples to work through their problems.