It is my view that healing takes place in a situation of intimacy around a vulnerable and damaged area and that, in order to have access to that area, the therapist must conduct himself as an ordinary and decent human being. He must have the capacity to ‘be there’. This paper discusses what it means to ‘be there’ and examines why it is of such central importance in bringing about change. Included in this is the struggle to ‘be there’, that is, the intimate struggle between the therapist and patient, as well as the separate and private struggle that both therapist and patient have intrapersonally. A clinical example is given in illustration.