Forgiveness is powerfully enjoined within the Christian tradition, but how feasible is forgiveness and what are the consequences of non-forgiveness? This paper explores these questions by considering the therapeutic experiences of three people for whom forgiveness was an issue. Their struggles suggest that part of the process of forgiveness may be working towards a ‘third position’, within ourselves, which transcends the instinct to portray our relationship with the person who has hurt us in terms of absolute goodness or badness, innocence or guilt. The significance of the ‘third position’ is that it provides a way of ‘seeing’ ourselves as we were at the time of the outrage, and the person who hurt us as they were at that time, and of continuing to live with both, while not being controlled by either. This understanding of forgiveness is then set alongside the experiences of two people who showed a remarkable capacity to use this ‘third position’; and also the author's experience, as priest and therapist, of hearing confessions which have arisen out of therapeutic work.