In this paper the author describes clinical work with forensic and anti-social personality disordered patients where the clinician is placed in a countertransference situation where, in the course of what is good therapeutic work, he experiences an overwhelming sense of having failed the patient. The author utilizes Glasser's idea of ‘identification with the neglector’ and Hinshelwood's writings on patients with disordered relations to care, to examine this experience, and he differentiates it from the concept of ‘identification with the aggressor’. Two clinical illustrations are used to highlight the issues discussed and show how with this patient group much of the clinical work is done in the countertransference.