In this paper, I argue that the school counsellor occupies a liminal position in the school environment, on the boundary between the private and the public, and that this position intrinsically reflects the paradoxical nature of shame, at once hidden and viewed. I review arguments that locate the development of primitive shame in early containment failure, with shame being defended against by rage against others or the self. I argue that the school counsellor's position commonly oscillates through the three positions of the child-home-school triangle, but that this is felt particularly acutely when the dynamics projected through this triangle are those of shame and shaming. For adolescents, the paradoxical nature of shame also finds a counterpart in self-harm, a simultaneously hidden and viewed act which I see as a mapping of shame on the body. In exploring the operation of shame in self-harming students, I also argue that chance encounters between counsellor and student in the external school world render projections about intimacy, intrusion and shame particularly powerful.