In this paper female-to-female friendship as depicted in the Neapolitan novels of Elena Ferrante is used to think about aspects of unconscious relating, and of feminine identity. The two girls in the stories ‘blur’ into one another, in a way that is at times a source of creative strength, and at times a quasi-psychotic state. The idea of ‘merger’ as characterizing female relationships is considered through the narrative. Friendship stands outside conventional psychoanalytic models of family relating, but Ferrante explores their internal workings, particularly in the developing child and adolescent, and unfolds the importance of their place in growing up, asserting a unique psychic place for the female-to-female bond in identity formation. Psychoanalytic ideas of separation and individuation are brought to bear, alongside Juliet Mitchell's work on sibling relationships, and Rozsika Parker's work on the internal ‘other’ necessary for creativity.