Clinical Material

A is a woman in her early fifties. She is the second of four children: two boys and two girls. She grew up in poverty, which on a few occasions nearly led to her family losing their home. Describing her childhood as ‘mostly unhappy’ and filled with adult worries and responsibilities, A was, however, a very good student and received

encouragement from her parents to aim high in terms of her education. In her mind, this was linked not so much with A herself, but with her parents' own insecurities and anxieties about financial instability within the family. She recalled numerous instances where she felt resentful for what she experienced as an enormous responsibility placed on her when she was very young, including ‘having’ to work. She spoke of her early years as a period of emotional deprivation combined with a lack of safety and security, a time when A felt keenly the burden of adult responsibility. In effect, what came across was that she was not allowed to simply ‘be a child’.

A is married with three children. She originally sought therapy because she suspected her husband of infidelity. Her sessions started at the beginning of 2017. A is a solicitor in a large law firm and has been attending therapy once weekly. There is an overwhelming sense of stagnation in my work with her, a sense of monotony and repetition; a mechanical-like quality. It feels as if there is no deep emotional contact between us. For the most part I experience A as talking in an emotionally detached way. A relates to herself through criticisms and complaints and generally sees herself as not good enough. I often find myself feeling left out and unable to cut through this to connect with her. When reading the notes from this session which took place a year ago I felt it to be no different from what our communication feels like today despite the passage of time and increased number of sessions to twice weekly. Presented here is the session which marked the end of once weekly therapy and the beg