Seeing Feelingly: A Sight-Impaired Observer's Reflections on An Infant Observation during the Covid-19 Pandemic

The author reflects on the experience of conducting an infant observation from their perspective of having a sight impairment encapsulated in the phrase ‘seeing feelingly’ taken from Shakespeare's play King Lear. The multi-sensory and somatic world of the infant is explored where sight is secondary to touch in early infancy and how this reflects something of the observer's way of experiencing the world. The impact of disability on how the author sees themselves and is seen by others is discussed in terms of the defences of projection, projective identification and disavowal. The COVID-19 pandemic and the necessity of remote observations via video link add another angle from which emotional connection is explored, leading the author to conclude that, although greater visual clarity was gained, emotional contact was diminished. The paradox of a sight-impaired person ‘observing’ challenges the privileging of the sense of sight, suggesting that a more multi-sensory approach could be of benefit to the conduct of infant observations. In addition, the very title ‘infant observation’ might deter others with sight impairment from participation.