This paper looks at those resolutions of the Oedipal situation that are characterised as defeat or triumph. We argue that both are defeats and the situation best resolves when intergenerational rivalry is contained and supportive co-operation is dominant. We are struck by the Narcissistic quality we find especially in triumph and note that Oedipus and Narcissus both lived in a false reality constructed to avoid the shame of their own rejection. We are especially concerned about what happens when the child builds a life based on either defeating or being defeated by the same-sex parent and how this appears and may find resolution in analytic psychotherapy. We consider the situation for the girl as well as for the boy and feel there are important distinctions that warrant further thought. Anonymised clinical material is provided to exemplify how this may play out in life and in our practices.