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The English translation of the title of this book, which is published in Italian, is What makes us stay together? Attachment and its outcomes in couple relationships.
Starting from the main conclusions reached within the perspective of attachment theory, the authors provide an original and effective reading of the dynamics of couple relationships in terms of affect regulation and motivational systems of attachment, care-giving, and sexuality.
The book focuses on the relationship between past and present experiences in determining the choices, perceptions, and feelings in couple relationships. The line of thought pursued is that adult attachment may be seen as an expression of a revision process that, at least in part, reflects representations of past attachment experiences of actual childhood relationships with parents. It is, however, also strongly influenced by the encounter that has taken place in the recent past between two people, and the attachment representations characterised by couple relationship bonds in the present, resulting from interaction with the current partner.
A new idea taken up in this book explores how an imbalance of the motivational systems may lead to hyper-activation of one system, with a consequent effect on the way the couple functions. Consideration of the balance (or imbalance) between attachment, sexuality, and care-giving is useful for interpretive diagnosis. It permits the recognition of couples who give greater attention to care-giving and those who are more linked by sexuality. The evaluation of the kind of balance/imbalance that characterises the relationship permits a more accurate understanding of the ways in which the partners relate to one another, their respective emerging needs and also the possible origins of the difficulties encountered during the relationship.
In addition to understanding the kind of balance that exists between the three motivational systems, the authors also evaluate the micro-oscillations of emotional c