This paper describes how the emotional states of shame and humiliation are interconnected. Recent neurophysiological findings are drawn on together with an appreciation of the developmental significance of shame in mother-infant interactions in the first two years of life to explain the importance of the application of these concepts to couple therapy. Object relations theory is also cited to explore some of the unconscious dynamics that might be operating in couples where shame and humiliation form the core of their relational dynamic. This is followed by the description of how partners can be helped to manage the other's shame effectively and, in so doing, give rise to a novel and much longed-for experience within the relationship. Finally, the clinical challenges of working with shame and humiliation in couple psychotherapy are considered.