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At the time that a couple faces the end of their relationship they often cite a breakdown in communication as one of the main causes of the distance that has developed between them. Yet here lies the paradox: it could be said that effective communication is needed between them more at this time than at any other. In his introduction to his book Dr Leonoff poignantly writes “… many divorces occur in the depth of confusion with little communication or common resolve” (p. xv).
The author is a psychologist and psychoanalyst practicing privately in Ottowa, Canada, and Leonoff has brought forty years of experience and work in the area of divorce and family adjustment to this book. It is not written from an academic perspective, and although the literature from the field is not reviewed, the book is clearly informed by it. This work sets out rather to offer help in a well defined way to those involved in the complicated processes associated with a couple as they go through separation and divorce; as such it is aimed at the couple, family members, and professionals. The processes inevitably lead to the management and subsequent adjustment to what has been described by Holmes and Rahe (1967) as major life events. In their now classic model of stressful life events, divorce is listed as the second most stressful event, with separation being listed as third, in terms of the link between life events and illness. Leonoff validates that “among existential crises, divorce is a top tier event in terms of stress and consequences” (p. xviii). The end of intimate adult relationships has a truly significant impact on each partner in the couple as they face the need to mourn what had been invested in, and turn to search for a new meaning in life.
Working with many couples involved in separating or divorcing, I approached this book with interest and was curious about how the author defined the concept of “a good divorce” and what would constitute such a term. The fundamental premise is bas