This article is based on the author's clinical experience in working with both perpetrators and victims. It uses clinical examples to explore the various ways domestic violence impacts on the development of young boys who later present with a variety of psychopathologies. It shows how, in the aftermath of domestic violence, young boys can be thrusted into the vacancies left by their violent fathers, trapped within an identity best described as being “just like his dad”. Without environmental changes that restore safety, benign experiences of aggression, boundaries, and intimacy, the boys who do not develop into being violent themselves do so by deploying various psychological solutions such as depression, perversion and becoming carers. This article discusses these different trajectories in the context of the trauma of domestic violence and then considers the implications for treatment.