In appreciation of my friend and colleague Helen Tarsh

No one who knew Helen could forget seeing her diminutive figure pulling an enormous bag behind her. That image says so much about her: a tiny person who could and did manage enormous workloads. She was always busy, and the most conscientious person I have ever known.

Helen, along with Elaine Bollinghaus, Sasha Brookes, Linda Binnington, and myself, was one of the first trainees at the Institute of Marital Studies (IMS) in 1987. After she gained her diploma she continued to work hard to develop the profession of marital psychotherapy. The Society of Psychoanalytic Marital Psychotherapists (SPMP) was the professional body set up to house the new graduates, and from 1995 until 1997 Helen was chair of the society. She was indefatigable. As well as chairing the new society and seeing clients she helped write the MA and professional doctorate handbooks for the IMS courses that gained academic accreditation from the University of East London and represented a significant milestone in the evolution of the training.

Helen worried. She set herself very high standards. Everything she agreed to do was followed through with integrity and sheer hard work. When the

SPMP put on an evening at the Linbury Theatre to promote couple psychotherapy she made sure that every seat was filled, and if it meant staying up all night to send out flyers then that was what she would do. Similarly, when the SPMP hosted two international conferences, one in Oxford and one in Edinburgh, she could always be relied upon, and was, to make things work.

Helen was meticulous in the care she took of her delicate digestion: ice had to be put in the glass before the coca cola (her favourite tipple); at the slightest sign of moisture in the air she would put a strange plastic covering over her hair (she was terrified that it would go frizzy); notes had to be taken at every lecture. I once asked her if she read all those notes: “not necessarily” came the