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IN THE PAST MANY WOMEN came for psychoanalytic treatment for sexual inhibitions such as frigidity. Today, many more come because of guilt and conflict about extra-marital affairs and the feeling of being trapped in marriage. Active, lively, professional women find themselves caught between the divergent requirements of an interesting job and the needs of either husband and family or some less defined need for reaffirmation as a female. The friction between the two parts of her life often makes for interpersonal tensions with husband or partner, and the resulting dissatisfactions or lack of equilibrium may propel her to search for another man or men to satisfy unfulfilled needs. Thus such women lead "double lives" on two levels, professional versus personal and husband versus lover. Moreover, I do not think that the overlap is accidental or unrelated. The common denominator is that these women have an unusual degree of zest, intelligence, competence, and a desire for self-assertion, which makes them unable to "settle" for a safe but often "dull" marriage. They are less likely than average to submit to woman's former fate, to accept that "woman's place is in the home." (Janeway, 1971). However, crippling self doubt may interfere with success.
Years ago it was said that active, lively men needed both a wife and a mistress to complete their lives: one for stability and comfort at home; the other for sexual variety and excitement. Companionship could be gotten with either wife or mistress. The husband might share a great deal about the home and children with his wife, and have a mistress who worked in his professional world and who could share this set of interests with him. His wife might be either indifferent to or jealous of this outer world where she felt excluded.