The Effect of the Mother on the Success of the Daughter1

THIS PAPER FOCUSES ON THE RELATIONSHIP between mother and daughter and its effect on the daughter's reaction to success. Mothers play a special, sometimes crucial, role in the psychology of women as the original source of nourishment, sensual gratification, and gender identification. If the mother does not encourage and reinforce her daughter for fear that she herself may be surpassed and feel superfluous, the resulting discouragement can undermine the daughter and result in extreme anxiety and a tendency to fail. The fear of failure is usually conscious. The fear of success is apt to be unconscious (Tec, 1976). A daughter can become fearful of the competition of other women, afraid of their disapproval, and, as a consequence, sabotage her own development. Success is seen as a demand, not as a legitimate result of skill and competence. In the recent past much emphasis has been placed on the positive role of the father in encouraging the growth of his daughter, but a father's encouragement can also result in inhibitions related to Oedipal guilt (Moulton, 1977). The daughter may come to feel "unentitled" to her victories, particularly when she sees that she has "surpassed" the mother. Since the role of men in "keeping women down" has been the subject of so much publicity in recent years, I have chosen to focus on the mother's influence. My emphasis is on fear of disapproval, rage, and competition from other women, not just the familiar prejudice and societal focus on male discrimination.

More than ever before, women are seeking consultation for anxiety