Dyadic Violence, Shame, And Narcissism1

Violence and abuse within marital and dating relationships has been an area of growing concern and attention among therapists and social researchers alike over the last two decades. During this period, a range of societal, circumstantial, and personality factors have been implicated as predictors of dyadic violence (e.g., patriarchal norms, socioeconomic hardships, alcohol use, low self-esteem). However, research thus far has largely failed to conclusively isolate any one factor as associated with the use of dyadic violence. Instead, violent and abusive treatment of a partner appears to depend upon a constellation of cultural, situational, and personality factors that shape the perception a person has of both self and others. Unfortunately, as this area of investigation has evolved, there has been a relative absence of comprehensive theoretical frameworks that might provide greater clarity and inferential understanding to the possible dynamics underlying these factors. Recent psychoanalytic contributions concerning narcissistic character pathology and dimensions of shame may provide one such theoretical framework for understanding a partner's readiness to use or sustain abuse within a relationship. In this article, two recently proposed styles of narcissistic disturbance will be discussed as possibly underlying many of those characteristics observed within violent relationships. The issue of shame, which has been recently linked to both interpersonal violence (Scheff & Retzinger, 1991) and narcissistic pathology (Wright, O'Leary, & Balkin, 1989), has particular application. Additionally, the way in which shame is handled and expressed may be significantly influenced by gender; men and women may develop diverging styles of narcissism. Partners representing these two diverging styles may enter into abusive relationships in response to projective identification of complementary needs.