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In this paper, the author asks the fundamental question, “Must developmental understanding mean that we do away with the notion of personal agency?” As human animals who are aware of our mortality, we have the freedom and responsibility “to choose ourselves in action” before we die. The author explores the underlying dynamics of the freedom to choose as an alternative to the strange bedfellows of developmental determinism and self-blame. Psychic determinism and its clinical correlate of empathy for the patient's sense of being victimized by past experiences may collude with the patient's need to disown actions targeted by self-ridicule. The dynamic of “feeling sorry for oneself” is used to illustrate the difference between the disavowal resulting from the incurred shame of harsh selfblame and the integration that results from understanding the unconscious sources of one's self-pity. Understanding helps transform the potentiality of unconscious intentionality into the actuality of a freedom to choose oneself. The author concludes that it is important for analysts to supplement analytic empathy with a respect for the patient's freedom of self-determination.