Asses Making Passes: Making Meaning of Unwanted Sexual Advances

The author believes there may be no way to discuss possible meanings of unwanted sexual overtures that does not arouse strong, uncomfortable feelings. Despite a sense of justice being served when victims of sexual harassment come forward and start naming names, the author asks, should we not distinguish between legitimate concern for people who have been sexually abused from the experiences of those claiming abuse but who were probably just offended or disappointed? This article discusses how interpersonal and relational analysts listen to patient accounts of sexual harassment and abuse. This is followed by a discussion of permissive sexual attitudes and mores of the 20^th century. The author recounts some personal accounts of unwanted sexual advances in professional settings. A clinical vignette of a dream and its associations illustrates the psychoanalytic complexity of teasing apart problems in living from problems in survival. The author concludes with a call for increased efforts to achieve justice for actual victims without creating a social environment in which everyone presents him- or herself as a potential victim.