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I met Paul for the first time, when he taught our dream class at WA White in 1992. He came in from Stockbridge MA and didn’t look like our other instructors—he was beautiful and wiry, a former dancer, with bright blue eyes and curly hair—he looked like a beat poet. Paul brought
a bottle of vodka to class and passed it around, telling us that he hoped to “open our dream sphincters.”
Fast forward several years. I was delighted to be invited to join this “Dream Group” led by Paul. Our group met once a month for more than 12 years. We came to learn each other’s dream language. We knew each other’s recurrent dreams and what they represented. For example, I sometimes dreamt that I had murdered someone and as I was waking, felt guilty and remorseful. The group knew that when I had this dream, it meant that I had bested someone in a competition. They knew this had to do with my family dynamics. They knew when family members showed up in my dreams and what they represented.
We became very close to one another in this particular way. Although it wasn’t a social group, we knew a lot about each other’s unconscious and even developed a “group unconscious.” Sometimes we dreamt about the group. In one dream, which I shared with the group, we were all physically connected in a “daisy chain.” This dream, which resembled Watson’s dream of the double helix, is also a concrete representation of “opening our dream sphincters.”
Paul was a beloved friend. He was the life and soul of the party. We mourn his death.
Sue Kolod, Ph.D., is a Training & Supervising Analyst and Faculty at the William Alanson White Institute. Dr. Kolod serves on the Board of Trustees and Executive Committee of the International Psychoanalytic Association. Her private practice is in Manhattan and Brooklyn, New York.