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In this book my intention has been to be truthful. It is an exalted ambition; after many years of experience I know that the most I can claim is to be ‘relatively’ truthful. Without attempting any definition of terms I leave it to be understood that by ‘truth’ I mean ‘aesthetic’ truth and ‘psychoanalytic’ truth; this last I consider to be a ‘grade’ of scientific truth. In other terms, I hope to achieve, in part and as a whole, the formulation of phenomena as close as possible to noumena.
Many names are mentioned; experience shows that it is impossible to prevent conjecture from replacing gaps with ‘facts’. The ‘facts’ are not of my choosing; they can be so fashioned to serve any aim that the speculator might have. Anyone can ‘know’ which school, regiment, colleagues, friends I write about. In all but the most superficial sense they would be wrong. I write about ‘me’. I do so deliberately because I am aware that that is what I should do anyhow. I am also more likely to approximate to my ambition if I write about the person I know better than anyone else – myself.
The book, therefore, is about the relationships of one man and not about the people, communities, groups whose names are mentioned. If I could have resorted to abstractions I would have done so. Such a procedure, without any preparation, would leave the reader grappling with meaningless manipulations of jargon.
W.R.B.