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MYSELF Hullo! What are you doing here?
ROSEMARY (who is so obviously present that it is hard to imagine that her presence can possibly have been unobserved or ignored) Your surprise surprises me. (Turning to Alice who is equally obviously present) Alice, do all your men-folk behave so oddly? Well, now I come to think of it, the men in Mummy's society did behave in a similar way. That teenager from Eton or Harrow – I forget which particular outfit he came from: I remember telling you about it. Bion reminded me of it and just now – I suppose I should call you the author? – the way you said, ‘Hullo! What are you doing here?’ reminded me of it – exactly! – just for a fleeting second. I remember walking along with him thinking how nice and handsome he looked. I did think he seemed a bit nervous, but thought no more of it. But as we walked on and it did not wear off I began to look at him and wonder what was the matter. Then I thought, I believed he was ashamed of being out with me! So, to try him, I said, ‘It's not far to my Mum's place; come and ‘ave some tea. She would be ever so pleased to see you.’ He blushed! He blushed so red you wouldn't believe it. ‘blot's the matter’, I said, ‘are you feeling ill?’ Of course I knew it wasn't any such thing. I knew that nice well-behaved gentleman had the damned sauce to be ashamed of being seen with me. So I said nothing. Just put on the accent a bit more – like I'm doing now. You don't look well, I says. You sure you're well? A bit pale, I says – and ‘im as red as a beetroot! shall I come to your front door with you? Oh no no no! Please don't trouble. I'm all right, really I am. But I've got to get back to my – prep or something, he says, the dirty young liar! A pal of mine was passing just then and I was so angry I had a good mind to tip him the wink. He wouldn't half have knocked the stuffing out of his pink beauties!
Of course he knew Mum was a whore, but naturally he didn't poke his nose into her business and I knew he li