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“Never play anything the same way twice” - Louis Armstrong
“One of the things I like about jazz, kid, is that I don't know what's going to happen next. Do you?” - Bix Beiderbecke
I think I know, as much as one can, that I am in many ways somewhat anxious, and often insecure. I am though, also quite passionate, very much driven, and work exceptionally hard. This has been true in my childhood. In my adulthood. These traits seem to remain. They influence and impress upon me, in all that I do and all that I am.
At a point in my life I found psychoanalysis. It filled me with passion, was exciting and dynamic. It spoke to me. I read everything I could find. Freud, Klein, Winnicott, Bion, Ogden, Benjamin, and more. All that I could get my hands on. Each article or text sparked an interest in another, unweaving the mystical labyrinth of ideas and concepts that provided me a sense of how I may engage in the work. I found instructors and supervisors to show me the way. They listened to me and we thought together, played together, and I grew.
I immersed myself in psychoanalytic theory. All my training experiences were psychodynamic/psychoanalytic. I received exceptional individual and group supervision from a diverse group of local psychoanalysts. I was treating patients, taking coursework, attending seminars, receiving supervision, and voraciously consuming any and all literature I could find in the psychoanalytic domain. I studied with tremendous energy, focus, and rigor. My technique was developing, and I was being challenged as a clinician in an intensive manner. It was exhilarating.
At a point in my life I found jazz. It filled me with passion, was exciting and dynamic. It spoke to me. I listened to everything I could find. Miles, Duke, Fitzgerald, Coltrane, Mingus, Paul Chambers, and more. All that I could get my hands on. Each song or solo sparked an interest in another, unweaving the mystical labyrinth of ideas and concepts that provided me a sense of how I ma