Psychoanalytic gender theories do not as yet do justice to textured and contextual subjective experience because of their reliance on sexual polarities inherited from influential developmental narratives. This paper examines some of the contradictions within contemporary psychoanalytic discussions of gender identity. It reviews transference literature to demonstrate that its sexual polarities also lose sight of significant object relationships and identifications. Sexually polarized models split identification from desire, equate certain desires with identity, and restrict cross sex identifications by conflating them with homosexual feelings, same-sex relationships, and gay and lesbian identities. Clinical illustrations demonstrate the limitations of sexually polarized models of development, gender, transference, and object choice.